Top Ten Dr. Mike-isms

1. Just because you have failed, you are not a failure. Many of the world's most famous people have failed miserably many times before they found success. Abraham Lincoln, Steven Spielberg, Jerry Seinfeld, Oprah Winfrey, Henry Ford, King David, the apostle Peter. James 1:2-4 … Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. Your failure isn’t final; it’s just fertilizer for your future success.
2. Turn the Crystal ball off. You have no ability to predict the future. Ecclesiastes 8:7 … Since no one knows the future, who can tell someone else what is to come? Stay in the now and just do the next right thing, just do what’s in front of you.
3. You are only responsible for you. Responsible to/for… It all comes down to control. The only thing you have the capacity to control are your actions and attitudes. You have responsibilities to others, but cannot be responsible for them.
4. Never say “you need,” only “I need.” You need is a direction – I need is an adult statement. Adults use an “I” voice.
5. Action is the mute button on your troubling thoughts. Your thoughts are powerful, sometimes overwhelming. They are not always accurate; you don’t have to believe them. Rather than be guided by your thoughts and feelings, let actions be your guide. What you do will affect your thoughts and feelings.
6. Stop putting dollars in a broken Coke machine. It doesn’t matter how you put the dollars in, it doesn’t have the capacity to give you what you want. Stop trying to get something from someone that they do not have the capacity to give.
7. Don’t embrace the myth of the just world. This world is not fair and God is gracious and patient with those who use their free will for harm. Eventually, in His timing, He will make things right. 2 Peter 3:9 … The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. Stop using the fairness doctrine. You can argue with reality but you lose – but only 100% of the time.
8. Stop the courtroom defense of yourself. Over-explaining your actions and thinking is fruitless and counterproductive. As Matt. 5:37 states … Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' Anything more comes from the evil one. Continuing to defend yourself makes you less believable.
9. Your role as a father starts with protector/provider, but soon changes to chief encourager and safest friend. Your children will thrive in an atmosphere of consistent encouragement and affirmation. They will never see their good parts if you don’t. Ephesians 6:4 says … Fathers, don’t frustrate your children with no-win scenarios. Take them by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master. Model consistency, love and acceptance with your life. Most of their learning is caught, not taught.
10. There are some good things ONLY suffering can bring. Character, wisdom, maturity, patience, perseverance, courage and an ability to really know what pain feels like. Don’t run from the process, run toward it. Prepare daily by feeding your body, mind, and spirit.

© Mike Marino, PhD